We all say things like we are willing to do anything for the ones we love but when we say them we mean grand gestures like taking a bullet or killing someone. It is the little everyday sacrifices that prove our love. Doing the things we don’t want to do, the mundane, the annoying, the anonymous.
A lot of us think of God in the same terms. We want to see big things from Him, we want to be part of big, flashy, glorious plans. But our love is proven when we step away from what we want and do what needs to be done. Drop food on a doorstep, hand out clothes, go to work. It’s not fun or glamorous. There is no fanfare. But love isn’t flashy. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres” (1 Cor. 13:4-7).
How many times have I heard or read those words? Right now, they hit me afresh. I am willing to do whatever I need to for my daughter because I love her. Even if it isn’t glamorous or life changing. Even if it means giving up a few hours a day to go to a dead-end job that I honestly used to enjoy but have a hard time going back to now.
Yes, I have a college degree, and yes, I am a hard worker, and yes, I deserve to be somewhere I am appreciated for my talents, somewhere I can actually be useful but until I can find that place I will make the best of what I have because I love my daughter and this is what she needs. I have never been very good with transition. I’ve probably mentioned that before. I either make the best of where I am and get comfortable or I start itching to move on. Now, I have to figure out how to do both. I need to make the best of where I am so I can do my best work, be my best self but I also need to find that place where I belong so I can quit being average.
It may sound hubristic but I was not made to be average. Maybe it isn’t, no one wants to be average. We all want to be more, do more and raise our children to achieve more than we did. We want them to be more than average. Sometimes the hardest lessons to teach are the simple ones we must live. Love isn’t average.