Dear Becky at 25,
Don’t sweat the small stuff or even some of the not so small stuff. Twenty years from now you will laugh at the stupid things that escaped your lips and the things you lost energy over. The big things get small in retrospect.
Quit procrastinating. I know you hate change but you also know you feel better once you’ve made a change of your own free will. The kids are fine. You don’t have kids yet but in twenty years they will be fine. Start saving up for a house to put them in now. Don’t worry so much about the price tag as the location and the neighborhood. Pick somewhere you will want to stay. Let your kids put down roots, make friends, build things in the back yard.
Don’t become discouraged in getting your writing published. A lot of people will tell you no, but someday someone will say yes. I can’t tell you who or when because that would be cheating and you’d only try to hurry it along. You know I’m right.
Never forget that you married a good man. He may be rough around the edges but so are you. Both of you will need to reprioritize your life especially when it comes time for the kids but you’ll figure it out. Whatever you do, no matter how nice it looks and how old and responsible you think the kids are, don’t go for the light colored carpeting. Regular foot traffic will do a number on it over the years and never mind the accidents and spills (there will be many). Go with something a little more subtle and durable that still looks nice, again not just looking at the price tag. Get something you’ll like later.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live or raise your children. It is okay to take advice but don’t get railroaded into something because you are inexperienced. That is how mistakes happen. God gave you instincts, use them. Be patient and trust yourself. Act with confidence even if you are unsure, people are watching. Love God, love others, and life won’t go according to plan so refer to points one and two.
Don’t wait for life to happen to you, happen to it for once. You are going to be great. Act like it.
Love yourself in twenty years.