Why is trusting so difficult?  I’m a Christian. I grew up in the church. I believe God is my everything and more…don’t I? How can I believe something (or want to believe something) so whole heartedly with only part of me while the other part showers me with doubts like a ruptured water main? I know wisdom is a journey not a destination, so I shouldn’t look to feel like I’ve arrived, but I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress either.

Life is a delicate balance. God gives us a light for our feet not for the whole road. He uses just enough light to direct us without us being overwhelmed. If I believe He’s everything He claims to be then why isn’t it easier to trust Him and follow where I can’t see? Why isn’t it easier to give up what I think I need for what He knows I need?

People tell me I’m wise beyond my years and that I’m learning faster than they did. They mean it to be complimentary and encouraging but somehow that doesn’t help me. It feels like an expectation for me to be ahead of the game all the time. Of course, no one expects that of me except me. I’m sorry this post has more questions than answers but I don’t always have answers. I just hope someone will read this and know that they are not alone in their questioning.

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